2021’s theme of March 8 International Women’s Day is generations equality. Well what do women want? Women who never give up on feminist struggle while being exposed to sexism everyday?
While 8th March was approaching, some of my recent experiences apart from the daily conversations with gender content, made me feel like writing on it. I’m related to women’s studies as well as youth work field. And taking part in rights-based projects accordingly. I am a woman who grown up in this patriarchal society, however, reacts to the male-dominated structure in every field. Instead of hiding behind it, I stand against this inequality. With the observations and experiences I have gained since my childhood… Moreover, I have been aware of this inequality and injustice in some way since I was a child.
I can put my struggle into practice thanks to civil society. And into theory thanks to the academy. From time to time, I would like to come across and talk to you a little more clearly. By opening all our cards, confronting ourselves, leaving our egos aside…
Whenever the week of March 8th arrives, also excitement arrives to home and the world.
As we scroll down our screens, we encounter advertisements whose subject is women. Billboards are covered with congratulatory messages with flowers and discounts. When March 8 arrives, some people send flowers to the streets to be given to women. Even to the desks in their workplaces…
If everybody is so understanding and everything works so well; then why are we women on the streets? Why do we shout solidarity, equality, justice, rights, law and freedom slogans by carrying banners with feminism in our hands?
Understanding Feminism: Standing Against the Patriarchal Structure
Feminism can frighten you. Feminism can shake you. If you look at feminism behind a wall built with prejudices; you cannot feel the solidarity and great struggle inside.
Feminism is not the enemy of men, but patriarchy. That is the male-dominated society and the masculine dominations in it. If you try to understand feminism, we can meet on the same denominator. However, if you try to show feminism inferior to the ideas that you fill up without knowledge; you will be one of those who play into the hands of the patriarchy. You continue to live with sexist stereotypes.
The system likes it very much; but you hurt the struggle for humanity.
When we meet people who represent a certain group or ideology in our lives; we should not see that ideology as just the approach of those people. We have a mind that we can use to look through a larger window, which is the main difference that sets us apart from other living beings. In fact, this is exactly the situation feminism is exposed to, which is progressing with an inclusive approach; but it is described in the wrong generalizations.
There may be people in our lives who cannot go beyond such generalizations. If I say based on my own observations; we are surrounded by people who hate women and LGBTI + individuals obviously. People who consist of excluding what they don’t understand…
At this point, we also need to talk about the existence of people who cannot tolerate men. While speaking we should be able to make the following distinction; a woman who hates men has a gender-based story based she most likely throws underground. I think you can see the difference; but still it is important to be clear. A group finds the right to humiliate the opposite sex; because they don’t consider it equal. Another group is struggling for fundamental rights; because they have been crushed for years and no longer accept it. Instead of understanding the context, people appear around us who have drawn this to their side with masculine discourses, associated it with feminism and made a huge generalization.
So do you know the real story? Have you ever wanted to know? Did you see the narratives in that story? I’ll tell you, no. You neither wanted to see, nor speak, nor write. You tagged, labeled, excluded; because it was easier in this way.
Women’s Rights are Human Rights
As soon as I say women’s rights and women’s struggle for rights, I started to hear this reaction frequently. (Especially from male friends.) “Neither woman nor man, human first!” Within the framework of my knowledge and experience, I have tried to explain these concepts as detailed and understandable as possible. And why did they exist…
Recently I heard comments that shocked me. For this reason, it is time to write these thoughts in relation to the meaning and importance of the day. Namely, those who did not open and read a single scientific report in their life, who did not learn more than the biased news they watched in their tv (which we call it in Turkish as stupid box), and who did not go beyond looking at the subject with a masculine perspective in the patriarchal society in which they grew up, declared themselves the most egalitarian in society. Moreover, they have come to the conclusion that what we need to talk about is actually only human rights. There were aspects of the feminist movement that they found extreme. On top of that, why should we only talk about the rights of women and LGBTI +, rather than the rights of every individual in society.
We are surrounded by those who do not even know the meaning of positive discrimination. But who find courage to say “This is actually discrimination!” Then, I ask what do you suggest to those who criticize positive discrimination to minimize gender inequality. As you can imagine that we do not hear a single idea. Any single idea that can take us one step further from these “egalitarian” individuals.
Misunderstanding positive discrimination: The pink bus example
We live in a society where pink buses and trams are tried to be implemented. In order to protect women from harassment! Years ago, we came across the shallow idea of lowering the harassment rates “thanks to” pink buses only available to women.
No, man! In this society where we all live, you cannot offer such alternative ways to prevent harassment from women who are abused. To assume that we get into a pink-colored vehicle (I don’t even get into the gendered colors!), so that we will be away from danger. It is the obvious admission of the existence of danger. It is justifying the danger, that is, the harassment and the harasser. That is separating each woman who gets on the non-pink bus. As this has nothing to do with positive discrimination and protection, it is a clearly targeting! I will not take that bus to avoid being harassed. You will expose abusers, impose sanctions and ensure my safety in all areas.
As a woman, when I flee from male-violence and ask for help, you will provide me shelter under the law of Istanbul Convention. With your authority, you will prevent the perpetrator from approaching me. This is the only way to prevent and ensure the safety of women from male violence.
Gender-Based Violence: Femicide
At such a time when women are murdered, there are minds that can even use the sentence of “Isn’t there a man-murder?” Apart from the gender-based examples above, a larger space needs to be devoted to this issue. First of all, it is necessary to clarify the subject. And to be able to differentiate it with our most basic gender conversations.
If men and women lived under completely equal conditions and had equal access to opportunities; we would consider the killing of a person regardless of gender within the framework of human rights. And we condemned this within this framework. However, the main reason in femicide is the “gender identity” of the murdered person. Unlike other types of murder where men are predominant, women are more often killed by their partners or male family members. Moreover, femicides in Turkey are being happening every day! Yes, these murders are happening in other countries of the world as well. But first we should be able to see real stories in our homeland.
But first…
Let me be more clear if you still say that “But, there is also a male murder.” We are in a society where murders are committed under the name of honor! People who are not even remotely related to the definition of morality see the right to imprison women’s lives. As if they were assigned the duty of moral guardians.
Voices that do not rise to theft, lies and injustice suddenly make us deaf when the subject is a woman. All this time, those, who allow all kinds of corruption to take place, make judgments without hesitation when they see a woman who does not behave in the way they want to be in society. Moreover, there is no sound to be heard while this is happening. These women are subjected to violence. Even become victims of horrible murders just because of their gender identity.
No, do not come to me with a thesis of “But men get killed too!”. Don’t!
Just because they did not give way to each other in traffic and for this reason one of them killed the other. Or just because he went and shot the man who did not pay his debt. Or one got angry while walking on the road and killed the other person by beating him! Just because of these reasons you will not come up with a thesis of men-murder as gender-based violence.
In this country, in this geography, in this world, women are seen as a part of your masculine system only because of their gender identity, and politics are made over them. They become a material for your dirty conversations! They encounter obstacles on the roads you block with your egos. Women feel obliged to play role assigned to them in this theater you have written. At the point where they reject, they are subjected to social violence. As well as psychological and even physical violence. For this reason women are being killed!
Black Lives Matter Movement: USA 2020
United States had the first black president, then the first black female vice-president. Remember in May 2020, a citizen named George Floyd, was subjected to police violence. He died after saying, “I can’t breathe!” Subsequently, “Black Lives Matter” social movement has risen again in the USA. After that, in many other countries as well…
When racism, one of the biggest problems in the history of the USA, took place in such a brutal way, a big protest started on the streets. As well as on social media with the hashtag #blacklivesmatter. Some people interpreted this expression as confrontational and divisive, creating the perception that other races were excluded. Subsequently, the phrase “All lives matter” appeared as a response. The owners of this idea apparently claimed that all lives are equal. Because we are all human. However, this is not an issue that can be cut short. This is a call to protection and recognition.
Black Lives Matter doesn’t mean other lives don’t matter. In a world where black people are stigmatized, marginalized and discriminated against, the BLM movement emphasizes that black lives are also important. Responding to the “Black Lives Matter” movement as “All lives matter” derails the private conversation about racism against blacks. Hence, “All lives matter” is far from being an innocent term that glorifies the value of all humanity.
It has been written many times on this subject. My dear friend Alan, who lives in Los Angeles, also prepared a video on the topic. I would like to share it with you as well. (Sensitive content!)
Putting it into plain language
Now you may be wondering why I gave the BLM example. It is very important for some to perceive some theories and movements through practices. I’d like to use the term that has settled in Turkish language as an idiom. But I cannot use it because I am worried about what might happen to me. (If you didn’t get it, ask me in a private message.) Let’s call it; a level that even a person whose mind doesn’t get easily can understand.
There are similarities between the feminist movement and the black lives matter movement. (I do not say it is the same, I specifically underline that.) The disadvantage of people in various groups in different geographies will bring the continuation of such social movements. So that to talk about all lives equally, we will first make conditions equal.
Footsteps of Feminism: Women’s Solidarity
History, geography, politics, science, medicine, literature, art… Throughout history, there have been women who tried to make their voices heard. Even when every field was occupied with male domination. Now, with the effect of technology, we can be the voice of our sisters living on the other side of the world. Also they can follow our experiences from moment by moment.
Dear women! Trying to obtain our rights has never been easy at any time in history. Apparently it still continues. This sex, which makes up about half of the world’s population, will continue this struggle. By sharing, creating awareness, raising the voices!
Today is March 8th, 2021. We celebrate this women’s day with the slogan of generations equality. As a young woman, I want to live freely which is my most fundamental right. I want to live without fear, exclusion; just want to feel safe and sound.
I want my best friend to be able to walk on the street in whatever clothes. With anyone she wants, at any time…
I want my mother, aunt and neighbor not to be subjected to violence at home. Regardless of psychological, economic and social…
What I want is my cousin gets equal pay at her work. Where she works in the same position as her male colleagues.
I want my friend to decide for herself whether to give birth to children… The number of children she will give birth… Or to terminate the pregnancy.
I want my LGBTI+ friends not to have to live with hate speech, just because they exist.
I want every woman to share their posts freely on social media. While their message boxes are not filled with harassment messages.
When I go to help a woman who is exposed to male violence; I also want police, health worker to make that woman feel safe. And not to send her back to the hell she lived in.
As a woman I want to live in this world. We, as women, want to live freely and under equal conditions.
We are stronger together!
Dear gentlemen! It is really important to get your support in such a great struggle. Although gender inequality has a much bigger negative impact on women’s lives; it affects men just as much. It puts pressure on being macho and being a “man”. Pressure on having to take care of home… On restricting oneself to certain colors and hobbies, sociologically as well as psychologically.
Surely, this gender inequality trouble is not something that can be solved in an instant. However, change starts by reading, understanding, researching, analyzing. Most importantly by speaking out… It must begin with change in language, glance, and behavior. We should be able to use proper language and expressions. Paying particular attention to our discourse. We shouldn’t hesitate to call women as “women”. We must be able to face our past mistakes. And be with each other with our strength in order not to repeat those mistakes.
We can reduce the inequality to some extent with online campaigns and movements. Such as #Metoo, #heforshe. The principle of positive discrimination and quotas. In this way, we must support gender policies altogether.
If we implement the Istanbul Convention, we can live. If we reach the level of a society that is equal, fair, free and equally accessible to opportunities and knowledge, then we can only talk about science, culture, art and life with pleasure instead of such outdated issues. Until then, we will continue to speak out! Unite and act in solidarity on the streets, squares and social media platforms. We are not alone and we will never walk alone on this road.
Happy 8 March where we are in solidarity!
There is no surrender! You either open the way or you will have to get out of that way. And we will pass anyway. This is a struggle and we will never let go of this. By being together, getting stronger and being in solidarity with each other every moment.
Now, I would like to wish a happy International Women’s Day to my female friends. To all who have struggled and continue to struggle in every period of their life. Hoping to have 8 Marchs where we feel the equality.
